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Some things to know if you are dating a middle-aged cis-het ex-LDS man
(From a small and probably nonrepresentative sample of former Mormons) General Things 1. Shame and guilt shaped every aspect of their lives for multiple decades. They are probably old enough to understand this and they’re probably working on it, but it will affect some aspects of relationships. 2. They grew up balancing multiple contradictions while…
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The pain-in-the-assery of being yourself
We tell people to be themselves, that there’s nothing wrong with who they are, etc. Of course this is all quite dishonest and we say it more to make ourselves feel good than to actually help other people. Here is my very not scientifically determined list of a few relatively common personal oddities, in decreasing…
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Fun fun emotional labor
Guess I’m poly, indeed. I might not have any other relationships, but the family gets to accommodate DP’s other partner. Vacation scheduling, childcare, etc. I’m probably not in the best state of mind to write. I’m tired. I got a minor (I hope) injury a week ago–pulled a back muscle–and I feel lousy. Had some…
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Can this stop being hard, now, please?
DP is spinning through an identity crisis. Upshot: maybe she identifies as genderqueer, now. I haven’t thought much about this label but sure, it fits as much as any other. She doesn’t identify with many (if any) traditional “feminine” characteristics. I am perhaps the only thing in her life that requires any “feminine” behavior or…
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Guess I’m poly, then
I’m exploring the interesting world of polyamory. Reading books. Reading discussion forums. Messaging a couple of pretty fascinating people (very far away; nice and safe). I’m noticing a recurring theme, possibly because it seems to fit my situation. Persons A and B enter into a long-term committed relationship, generally marriage. This relationship is implicitly or…